meme you badboy, i’m only teasing i know you’re not satanists!

Bollocks. Just when I thought we had a contender here. Sheeeeit. I thought we had that old “takes one to know one” scenario. You’ll remember this from your days in business development, Luka. There you are, in the can after the meeting — the client joins. Short, clipped smile, brief pause, quick conversation about Nick Faldo. Involuntarily you glance down, like you do, and blow me if there’s not a huge gold Prince Albert glistening at you. “I usually have a more subtle piece in there”, he says smiling, immediately noticing the direction of your gaze. Your mind’s in freefall, only at the last minute keeping the last splatter of urine off your well-turned brogues: what do we have here? A come on? A request for drugs? An invitation — only declined with difficulty — to espionage? “Merry meet”, he says, “and welcome to The Light Bringer. So, how goes it in the Solar Lodge?” With relief, you do up your zipper. You’ve been fingered by The Man, and everything is OK.

Betcha that brought the memories flooding back…

love yr use of the word FUCK.

Thanks! It’s a classic anglo saxon monosyllabic noun and no mistake. BTW, did you know “cunt” has the same root as “Kenneth”?

hey if that offer still stands, i’d be supergrateful, if its too late, well, i’ll survive, i lost yr address though

Of course, but I suspect I live a little more than walking — or at this hour, training or flying — distance from you…

ok, i’m definitely bored enough to continue this discussion

This is a pretty hot rant, like it. Matthew’s on the way but hasn’t really let out that hot geyser of paranoid vengefulness and incendiary non-sequiturs that is the hall-mark of the truly great rant.

CHRIST, WHY won’t that damned baby go to sleep????!!!

OK, OK, we put you too bed too late cos we had a late frigging appointment at the health clinic — stop punishing us like this!

You said you wanted a bed — well WE GOT YOU THE FUCKING BED — but that’s no excuse for learning ON JUST THE THIRD NIGHT to jump out of the damned thing and spend the evening bawling out of your bedroom door!!!


baffled as to why anti-authoritarian rebel pebble satanists like meme and john eden keep banging on about ‘good’writing.

Well, John’s a godless communist and you know how anti-authoritarian THEY are, hmmm? Those burning book jokes are just a little too pointed, you know what I’m saying? As for myself, I have never been a professed Satanist, though the texts are entertaining, and Satanists have been valued colleagues in the past — especially those that work in the City. (Dunno where my mortgage would be now if it weren’t for them!)

Still, Luka says that good writing is “the lamest, crappest thing anyone anywhere could aspire too. it’s not even difficult, any half-brained idiot can manage it. it’s the very thing that makes blogs so stultifyingly homogenous, ‘good’ writing, ‘good’ taste, ‘good’ opinions”. As you would imagine, this simply shows that Luka has been nestling comfortably in the blog circle jerk (many thanks to Tim.E.Waster at UK-Dance for this particular bon mot) for too long. I’m sure that if all you ever look at is Reynolds, TWANBOC, Eden, Luka himself, Masters of the Midnight Blog or Dubmission, and let’s face it I try pretty hard to read these and only these, that you will become bored with the endless round of well-constructed syllogisms, informed debate and interesting insight. But these are scarcely representative of the wider blogosphere. Oh no. These are some of the few small wisps of wheat in a field of chaff. Most blogs are only semi-comprehensible and certainly only half-literate, and I don’t mean that in a good way (this is probably a pretty good description of more than half of my stuff — or at least, the stuff I don’t remember writing when three sheets to the wind. Which is what people actually notice…). In fact, so far as I can tell, a good half of the blogs out there are just aimless rightwing dribbling.

If Luka wants “crappy”, “offensive” blogging by “bad boys”, there’s an almost endless supply of it. Try, or, better, — he’s the most popular blogger on the web, even more so than the very nice Doc Searls, and I think this tells you everything you need to know about mass market blogging.

Of course I could make serious point about we anti-authoritarian politicos and Left-Hand-Path-ers tend to value a bit of well-reasoned discourse and hence like good writing, but fuck it, here’s a random FUCK .

Oh, and Luka, if you’re out, pop over and we’ll share a bloater.